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Maximum Golf
KIDS' GAME SHOW 30 MIN.
This Ain’t Your Father’s Miniature Golf —
It’s Maximum Golf...In Full Protective Gear!
A 30-minute game show for kids based on miniature golf, but with zany hazards and contraptions to make the game actually interesting to watch! Targeted at audiences 8 and older.
The Show
Two contestants, outfitted with helmets, goggles, elbow and knee-pads, and lightweight plastic body armor, vie for prizes by playing 4 holes of miniature golf. The course, however, is not your ordinary miniature golf course. The hazards are much more extreme than what you’re accustomed to seeing at the local putt-putt — balls are crushed, launched into orbit (or at least off the set!), magnetized so that they stick to various props, and slopped in goo, among other things. Contestants are hosed down, wind-blown, and trapped in cages or quicksand made of mini golf balls. Most of the hazards are hidden and change from show to show, so being a return contestant isn’t really an advantage. On some of the holes, the contestants actually play defense against their opponents too. At the end of the show, the player in the lead will get to play "The Maximum Hole," which will be a multi-hazard obstacle course, for a chance at winning a college scholarship.
The Hosts
The show will be hosted by two teens (a boy and a girl) in their mid-teens, whose good natured banter will describe the rules, do the hushed-voice commentary (just like real golf), and engage the contestants in interviews as the match progresses.
Hazard Ideas
1. A small house with a see-through tunnel with a randomly-dropping pile-driver inside which crushes the ball.
2. A hidden, spring-loaded plate which shoots the ball into orbit, or at least out of the picture (add in Bugs Bunny-like "spring" sound).
3. Instead of hitting the ball through a Ferris Wheel, use the propeller off an Air-Boat (like they use in the Everglades).
4. Speaking of fans, play a hole in a wind-tunnel.
5. Contestants are pelted by randomly firing fire-hoses.
6. Balls are replaced by lead balls while they go through a tunnel (leads to funny second shot!)
7. Balls are replaced by metal balls on a hole which has magnets pulsing on and off in the walls.
8. One contestant (blindfolded, naturally) is in a cage halfway down the fairway, and has to try and kick the opponent’s ball away.
9. One contestant is in a pit with an 18’ fairway passing overhead, and has to try to jump up and swat the opponent’s ball away as it goes by.
10. One contestant hits balls at the opponent’s ball as it goes by.
11. All the sand traps are replaced with colored-goo traps.
12. A super-static-electricity hole (comic effect of contestants hair standing on end).
13. A trained dog runs onto the fairway, scoops up the ball as it travels towards the hole, and runs away (1 stroke penalty!).
14. The fairway is made of quicksand, which the contestants must slog through.
15. The earthquake hole. The fairway actually pitches side to side, and the ball (or the contestant), might roll off the side into a pool of goo.
16. The parting of the Red Sea. Contestants putt down into a pool that has the water parted as in "The Ten Commandments." On the bottom are obstacles like shells and plastic flopping fish. You better hurry and putt back up and out, before the water comes crashing in! (The balls float, by the way.)
17. The heckling hole. The contestant’s opponent can yell, jump, and distract the one who is putting, as long as he doesn’t make contact or obstruct him.
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Maximum Golf — Sample Scene
OPENING SEQUENCE
EXT. MINIATURE GOLF COURSE - DAY
A high shot angles down on a miniature golf course from just outside an entranceway arch that reads "Golfy World." In the background, we hear lightly lilting, antiseptic music (e.g., "How Much Is That Doggie In The Window"). We track in past the sign and over a typical miniature golf course, and below us we see wholesome, well-dressed families enjoying an afternoon of "fun" in front of the tee for a hole that has a windmill slowly revolving in the middle of the fairway. A kid who probably goes by "Junior" is getting ready to tee off as Mom, Dad and Sis cheer him on.
THE CAMERA SHAKES (earthquake-style), THE MUSIC scratches off the record and the family starts screaming and yelling. The blades of the windmill loom in front filling the frame. The blades turn faster and faster, and out of the noise rises the sound of earth-thumping, guitar-wailing, heavy metal music.
The blades spin into a blur that fills the entire screen. They stop suddenly, and aren’t the blades at all, but the logo for MAXIMUM GOLF. At that instant, a guitar "stinger" leads into the hard-driving rock’n’roll theme song. A montage of scenes from the show, with contestants being blasted by fire hoses, falling into goo pits and throwing their arms up in victory; balls being crushed, launched, and sinking into the cups
ANNOUNCER (VO)
This ain’t your daddy’s miniature golf — this is Maximum Golf... in full protective gear!
EXT. MAIN SET – DAY
The main stage is in front of the "Maximum Golf" course, with three grandstands set to the sides and behind the camera. Crowd reactions, including rooting, moaning, cheering, and quick group and individual camera cuts, will be scattered throughout the show. A giant golf ball, tee and golf club lay on the ground upstage.
ANNOUNCER (VO)
And now. . . here are your Course Masters. . .
(sound effect of a golf ball dropping into a cup)
Austin Tee and Corey Cupp!
The crowd in the grandstands goes wild as our hosts run out from stage left and right to meet in front of the course. They shake hands and mouth pleasantries to each other, and as the din of the crowd starts to fade...
AUSTIN
Hi, everyone! And welcome to Maximum Golf! We’ve taken the age-old, tradition-filled game of golf, and added a few twists to make it, well. . .
COREY
(jumping in)
Fun!
AUSTIN
That’s right, Corey. Today, our two contestants will tee off on our specially-designed, and not too life-threatening, course to compete for prizes including a $10,000 college scholarship!
The crowd erupts in cheers and applause.
COREY
And hopefully, we’ll have a few laughs along the way.
AUSTIN
You can count on it. Now, let’s meet today’s linksters. . .
Head shot of Contestant #1
COREY (VO)
Our first contestant is a lean, mean, golfing machine from Dexter Junior High School in Billings, Montana. At 5 feet, 2 inches and 112 pounds, it’s Jeff Putterman!
The crowd goes wild as JEFF trots in. Like all the contestants, he wears plastic motocross body armor, complete with shin, knee, hip, elbow, and shoulder pads, a catcher’s-like chest plate, a helmet and protective goggles (which are loosely hanging around his neck for now). He shakes hands with our hosts, then turns to smile and wave at the crowd.
Head shot of Contestant #2
AUSTIN (VO)
Our second combatant is a tall, tan surfer girl from Venice Beach Junior High School right here in sunny Southern California. At 5 feet, 4 inches and 116 pounds, it’s Britney Cheers!
The crowd goes wild as Britney trots in from stage right. Shaking, smiling, waving.
COREY
Okay, now that we know who everyone is, let’s play. . .
We see a wide-angle shot from behind the actors of the crowd in the bleachers.
EVERYONE
(standing up and yelling)
MAXIMUM GOLF!!
They go wild once again. (Note: From this point on, the crowd going wild will be referred to as "APPLAUSE" in this script.)
EXT. HOLE #1 – DAY
We are at the first tee, with the grandstand forming a backdrop behind our hosts and contestants.
AUSTIN
Now, before we get started, let’s explain the rules of the game. . .
COREY
That’s a good idea, Austin.
AUSTIN
(hesitating, looking at COREY out of the corner of his eye)
Yes. Well. . .
(waiting to see if she interrupts again, then continuing)
As in typical mini-golf, the object of each hole is to get the ball in the hole in as few strokes as possible
COREY
(who has donned very thick horned-rimmed glasses)
I’m following you so far, Professor.
AUSTIN
(chuckling)
And whichever contestant has the lowest score at the end of the show wins the round and will play the Ultimate Hole for a chance at a $10,000 college scholarship!
COREY
(scribbling furiously in a notebook)
Wow! What a scoop!
(throwing the notebook aside)
Anything else?
AUSTIN
Well. . . Since you asked. . . It just so happens that our special team of engineers, mostly rejects from NASA, have set up a few booby-traps along the course.
COREY
(mocking surprise)
Like what?
AUSTIN
(whispering)
Well, they’d hardly be booby-traps if I told you, would they? They’d be. . . unbooby-traps.
COREY
Well, I guess we’d better just play the game and find out for ourselves!
ANIMATED SEQUENCE
We see a whacky, "Rube Goldberg-like" animated schematic diagram of Hole #1 in overhead view, showing the Windmill in the middle of the fairway. At the lower right are the words "Par 2".
AUSTIN (VO)
Hole #1 is called The Windmill, and it’s a Par 2.
As AUSTIN explains, we see an arrow follow the ideal path.
AUSTIN (VO)(cont’d)
The idea is to hit the ball through the tunnel at the base of the Windmill and get it as near to the hole as possible.
AUSTIN (cont’d)
All right! Jeff, you’re up!
APPLAUSE
JEFF steps up and places his ball on the first tee. He starts to line up his shot in front of a large, slowly-turning windmill straddling the fairway. In the middle of the windmill is a small tunnel that he obviously must hit the ball through, in between passes of the windmill blades.
COREY
Hold on a second. . . Hey, what’s this switch for?
She walks over to a big fusebox that has a big Electric Chair-type throw switch. She throws the switch and stands back. . .
AUSTIN
Uh oh! Now you’ve done it. Look at the Windmill!
The Windmill blades begin moving faster and faster and faster. . .
AUSTIN (cont’d)
(chuckling)
Well, Jeff. I guess you’d better go ahead and tee off anyway.
JEFF shakes his head but addresses the ball. He hits his putt sharply and on target, but the spinning blades hit the ball and shoot it out of play. The camera follows it’s trajectory until we lose it behind the rest of the set.
Quick reaction shot of the crowd. They are oohing and ahhing, searching the horizon for where the ball has gone, squinting with their hands shielding their eyes from the sun.
Our hosts and players doing the same thing.
COREY
Wow, I wonder if it’s ever going to come down! Let’s see that in super slo-mo!
We see the play again in super slo-motion.
AUSTIN
Oops! I’m afraid that’s a one stroke penalty for a lost ball, Jeff. Britney, it’s to you. . .
BRITNEY, looking just a little nervous, addresses the ball and hits a slow roller. As it hits the blades, they slow a little as we hear a ca-chunking sound. We switch to a camera behind the Windmill and see her shredded ball half-rolling down towards the green.
APPLAUSE
COREY
All right! Great shot, Britney!
AUSTIN
Jeff, you get to drop a new ball and play. Okay, that’s one stroke off the tee, plus a one stroke penalty for a lost ball, so this is your third shot.
JEFF drops a new ball next to BRITNEY’s and two-putts in.
APPLAUSE
AUSTIN (cont’d)
Nice shot! Britney, finish away.
BRITNEY takes three strokes to finish the hole, due mostly to the uneven roll of her chopped-up ball.
APPLAUSE
EXT. MAIN SET - DAY
By the grandstand, we see an electronic scoreboard. Next to the line for Hole #1, we see a 4 appear under JEFF’s name, and then a 4 appears under BRITNEY’s name. In VO, we hear AUSTIN. . .
AUSTIN (VO)
So after one hole, Jeff and Britney are tied at four!
AUSTIN (VO)(cont’d)
Now, let’s go to the second tee, where Corey is having a word with Britney. . .
EXT. HOLE #2 - DAY
At the second tee, COREY has her arm on BRITNEY’s shoulder and is speaking into a hand-held microphone.
COREY
That was a brutal hole, at least, if you’re a golf ball!
BRITNEY
(into COREY’s mic)
I’ll say. It’s hard to putt when your ball is all chopped up like. . . like. . .
COREY
(laughing)
Hamburger! I’ll bet. But you did a great job! Let’s go ahead and play Hole #2...
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